As seen on Motherly
If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me, “So are you sleeping much?” or “Does he sleep through the night?” I would be living in a mansion in Beverly Hills and I would definitely have a night nurse.
But I don’t get any kind of compensation when I get asked that question. It seems like I get asked every single day, whether by a curious stranger or a well-intentioned family member or friend, and my answer is always more of a laugh because..well, I wish! I wish he was sleeping “through the night” even if sleeping through the night just meant 6 straight hours. That would be amazing! My baby is just not one of those babies that began sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old. Who am I kidding, a three hour stretch of sleep would be great! So the night nurse is my amazing husband and I and we are still waking up every two, give or take, hours at night to feed or console our 6 month old.
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Read through to the end to see my sleeping update!
Do you have the room pitch black, you ask? Yup. Do you have a sound machine? Yup. Do you swaddle? Yup, and now with his arms out
since he is older. Have you sleep trained? Have you tried Baby Wise
? Cry It Out? Ferberizing? PUPD?
since he is older. Have you sleep trained? Have you tried 
? Cry It Out? Ferberizing? PUPD?Have you tried putting him down when he’s sleepy but not asleep? Have you waited to see what happens when he wakes up before you pick him up? Yes and yes again; he cries. Then we have to suck his snot with the snot sucker
. And administer gripe water
because his crying caused him to develop the worst case of hiccups known to babies. Well, that wakes him up wide awake. Back to rocking and swaying and singing him to sleep. I could really use that night nurse.
. And administer 
because his crying caused him to develop the worst case of hiccups known to babies. Well, that wakes him up wide awake. Back to rocking and swaying and singing him to sleep. I could really use that night nurse.
Even though I am beyond tired, the truth is I don’t mind my baby needing to nurse every two to three hours at night because he must need the calories or maybe he just wants an extra snuggle session.
Related: Getting Out of the House with a Baby
When he was a few weeks old, he wasn’t gaining weight like he should have been so the doctor had us waking him up every couple of hours to nurse. During the day if he was napping and it had been three hours since his last feeding, we would wake him up from his nap to get his tummy full. Once his weight was increasing at a healthy rate, we let him wake us up when he needed to nurse. He consistently started waking up every three hours at night, with a four hour stretch when he first went to bed. Of course, we usually didn’t go to bed when he did because we would have dishes to do or laundry to put away. This is usually the only time we would also have the chance to talk while making eye contact. I’m sure any new parent can relate!
But those longer four hour stretches were still a treat! Due to the four month sleep regression, teething, or only God knows why, his sleep stretches greatly diminished when he was about four months old. We were back to waking up every two hours. Like most new parents, we never stopped feeling the sleep deprivation effects, but they worsened once he went back to waking every two hours.
I have spent countless hours on Google and Pinterest trying to figure out why my baby won’t sleep longer stretches. I kept thinking there must be a reason, an answer, a solution. What I have found is we are not alone! Not all babies sleep through the night by six months. I have found it quite common to find stories about babies not even sleeping through the night by age one.
What works for one baby may not work for every baby. And that’s okay.
Not all parents will feel comfortable with the sleep training that involves letting their baby cry. And that’s okay.
Not every baby responds to sleep training well and that’s okay, too.
Related: Create a Stress-Free Nursing Station + Breastfeeding Essentials
The biggest thing that gave me hope is hearing that my baby will sleep through the night when he’s ready. There is not one cookie cutter solution to fix his sleep pattern. There is nothing wrong with him. We have not failed at sleep training him. We did and continue to do what we believe is best for our son and his health.
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Did we cause him to create this sleep schedule where he wakes up at least 6 times during the night? Maybe we did but how will we ever really know? Is he using nursing or his daddy’s cuddles to soothe himself back to sleep? Probably. But as he’s nursing for the third time in the middle of the night, and I’m seeing double of everything on my phone trying to stay awake but sometimes dozing off, I remember that this will not last forever. He will not always want our snuggles to fall back asleep.
Even though I look forward to him sleeping through the night or even five hours in a row, I know I will miss him needing me so often. He will sleep through the night eventually and I have that to look forward to, but right now I will enjoy his midnight snuggles.
The truth is, even if I did get a dollar every time someone asked me how we were sleeping, I still wouldn’t hire a night nurse.
Update: My little guy started sleeping longer stretches leading up to his first birthday, and the week of his first birthday, he did it! He slept through the night!! We never thought that day would come:) There was not a single thing that made him sleep better (it was all in his own time), but we did find a weighted swaddle (and later a sleep sack when he was old enough) that we absolutely loved.
Like I said, it wasn’t an instant fix, but I think it contributed to helping him feel comforted while he slept. Check out the swaddles and sleep sacks we used for 2 years by clicking here or the image above. We used them from the beginning with his arms swaddled inside then with his arms out and then we finally transitioned to the sleep sack that works up to 24 months. We loved them! Like I said, it wasn’t a simple fix but I know it helped comfort him with the gentle weight on his chest.
Now that he is 3 years old, he overall sleeps through the night! We still have the occasional wakeup or tough night, but that’s to be expected.
I know it’s tough to be so sleep-deprived, but in their own time, they will sleep better. Hang in there, mama!
You may also like to read How to Keep Strangers from Touching Your Baby! Get a FREE car seat tag printable to help keep germy hands away from your precious newborn!
Try Zen Swaddle with 60-Day Return Option
I consider myself lucky: both of my sleep through the night early on. This is great advice for any parents having trouble. Because it will get better, you just have to give it time!
That is great!! Every baby is so different! Thank you so much for reading!! ?
we do what we can! i wish I had a night nurse also, haven’t had a good sleep in months but I’ll survive!
We are strong mamas and we will survive! I hear we might not get a good night’s sleep until they’re 18!
Keeping it real! I love these tips! It’s all about reframing.
Thanks!
Man, this is so hard and I can totally relate. My son doesn’t really sleep through the night at all. He is still waking up 2-3 times a night. It is just one of those things that we deal with. Eventually, it will get better, but I am not willing to do the cry it out method.
I hear ya! As long as we’re doing what we feel is right, then it’s okay! We might just be a little tired but it won’t last forever! ☺️
My 18 month old still doesn’t sleep through the night lol.
No way.. don’t tell me that! Haha!
This is a great topic! I always tell other moms that if what they’re doing is working for them then there’s no need to change it. If everyone is feeling happy (most of the time!) and rested then great. The interesting thing is that your baby will actually NEVER sleep through the night! We all cycle in and out of sleep all night long. It’s how we put these cycles together that makes it seem like we’re sleeping “all” night long. Some babies are better at putting these cycles together than others. I can tell you that being a sleep consultant and working with hundreds of families over the years that there’s not a one size fits all approach to babies and sleep. Some naturally sleep better than others and some babies respond better to one approach than to another. When I was a new mom the fatigue was debilitating and sleep training my son changed my life. I was a better mom, wife & mother because I was rested. I’m convinced that motherhood is exhausting enough when we’re well rested!
I love everything you said!! That’s so true!! Yes, I don’t think my baby transitions between the sleep cycles very well because he is constantly waking up. :] We are working on more of a plan that we are comfortable with to see if he can go longer without fully waking up! Thank you so much for your informative comment and for reading!!
Good luck mama! It sounds like you’re doing great, enjoy those extra snuggles 🙂
Thank you!! ☺️
I think the biggest thing is we mommas need to give each other grace. There is no one size fits all for everyone! Thanks for being an encourager!!
This is so true! Every baby is so different and there’s not one right way to sleep train! Thank you for reading!
So much truth to this – neither of my boys slept through the night for the longest time! I love what you say – they will when they are ready. Every baby is so different!
That has to be tough with two! Thank you for reading!
My daughter is 21 months and she’s only just started sleeping through the night! I’m in the process of weaning her now and it’s true, you really do start to miss all the snuggles.
Ps. Love the way you ended your post. Avsolutely lovely.
Awww thank you so much!!
Wow good job with going that long! That’s amazing!! I will enjoy these snuggles while I can! ☺️
My 14 month old just started to sleep through the night. I still get up waiting for the time she calls for me.
Oh wow! I get that! Even when my baby was sleeping last night for 2-3 hours at a time, I had a hard time sleeping because I kept thinking I had to get up soon for him!
Flash backs to my little at 5 months! I would wake up in the middle of the night when she did to nurse her & I’d be so tired that I’d fall asleep for ??? while she nursed. Then she would fall asleep too. I thought it was going to be so hard to put her in her own room at 6 months & so my hubby & I prepared for a really rough 1st night. We put her in her crib & I swear it was the best night of sleep she’d gotten in months (for me not so much ?) except for teething & colds we haven’t had to many issues since. I think she likes the peace & quiet in her own room. Once in a while though, I miss those midnight feeding sessions when it was just me & her & the rest of the world faded away. Love your blog by the way! ☺
Thank you so much!! 🙂 it’s tough!! We’ve had a rare good night but we have gone back to our “normal.” I’m sure teething isn’t helping any now! That’s true about the crib! I think that does help to move them to the crib but you’re so right about it being hard on us mamas!! 😀
I just came across your blog and wondered when your baby did start eventually sleeping through? I have a WhatsApp group of friends who were all celebrating their babies sleeping through the night and I just wanted to cry!!
That’s amazing!! Isn’t it the BEST feeling when they finally sleep through the night?! Mine started doing longer stretches then started sleeping through the night the week of his FIRST birthday! I thought it would never happen, but it did! He generally sleeps through the night every night now, with the exception of when something is bothering him or if he is sick. Thank you for your comment!:)